About

September 4th 2024

Recently I've been missing everything. The drives after practice when my car was filled with poeple. The mischevious nature of a friday night with friends. The walks at night when the world has gone quiet and the streets are barron. The playful conversations that echoed around my city. I miss things I'd never thought I would too. I miss 7am gym class with my friends. I miss waking up on a saturday and having my only plans being indoor percussion. I miss the sitting in the junkyard or on my roof to think. Even when the thoughts are painful and the memories made me physically sick. I miss pretty much everything. The good. The bad. The ugly. Everything. But I dont miss you. I did for a long time. But I had a dream that we were together again last night. I used to have these dreams a lot, but this one crept up on me. This time was differant than the last. Instead of waking up with a hole in my heart and a knot in my stomach, I felt serenity. Peace. Acceptance. I dont miss you anymore. But I still do think of you sometimes.

August 10th 2024

I dont think I really want to go to college anymore. Im going to miss doing silly things with my friends. Fooling around with my coworkers. Walking down familiar streets. Having teen girl music listening time in my room. Late nights at indoor percussion practice. Too much. I used to count down until I could move out. But now i dont think I want to go anymore. Im going to miss everything and everyone too much. Change is scary. I thought I was ready to move on but maybe i'm not as ready as I thought I was. I move in in 5 days. Wish me luck!